First things first, I am not an expert on mom friends. Before I was a mom, I was the single friend that could easily fit into the world of my friends and I did! I had no problem joining a school supply or grocery shopping trip or coming over late at night after the kids were in bed to watch tv. I even helped throw birthday parties and spent my fair share of Saturday mornings down at the soccer field. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything but when I think about what kind of friend I was back then, I kind of wish I had a me. Ok, I really wish I had a me!
But, alas, I don’t. Like many moms, I have struggle to make friends and to maintain the friendships I once had.
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Tips for Making Mom Friends
Join a Moms Group
Facebook is full of mom groups, both local groups that have meetups and groups that operate entirely online. If you’re busy, a good first step is to join an online moms group (like my Mom Friends Hangout group on Facebook!) to get connected virtually, then you can join a meetup as it fits your schedule or perhaps you’ll connect with a local mom in a non-local group.
There are also other mom groups that meet weekly or monthly. If you need help finding one in your area ask around or check out Moms Club or MOPS. Churches are also a really great place to find a moms group.
Make Eye Contact
This may seem silly but we can get so focused when we are out in public that we miss the people around us. When you’re at the park or indoor playground, make sure you are looking up and around - make eye contact with the other moms. Find a friendly face, smile and say “hi”!
Learn the Art of Asking Questions
I have spent almost my entire adult life working in church ministry. With this type of job you are constantly meeting new people and, of course, you want to be friendly! While I am an energetic (and loud) person I am not, by nature, an outgoing people. The thought of talking to strangers literally makes me want to cry.
Tips for Maintaining Friendships
Being a mom is busy. In 2018, being human is busy! If we don’t intentionally carve out time to invest in our friendships then it’s not going to happen. Set aside time to call a friend, schedule a coffee date, go ahead and go to that girls night out you sort of want to go to but kind of don’t want to take off your yoga pants for. Make time for your friends.
I have to admit, I am guilty of not reaching out to friends. I have a million (mostly ridiculous) reasons that keep me from trying to connect with my friends. But I am learning that I can’t sit around and wait, we are all busy, someone has to make the first move!
Know Your Season
Friendships, or relationships in general, don’t always look the same from one season to the next and that’s ok. Recognize the season you are in and make any adjustments that might be needed to help you prioritize friendships. As a single, work at home mom with two jobs and a three year old, I have had to accept that in this season of my life I don’t have a lot of time to invest in friendships. I decided to join a moms group and as much as possible I protect that time so that for an hour and a half a week, I can sit at a table among friends… and I soak it up!
When I lived on the Big Island (Hawaii), I had two friends that used to meet each other at Safeway after their kids were in bed (and hubbies at home, of course!). There wasn’t many places that weren’t many places open after 9pm and daytime was hectic, so they did what worked for them. I remember the first time they told me about their hangout spot, I laughed. I didn’t have a kid at the time, so I didn’t really get it. But I totally get it now and I’ve had to get creative myself.
So, how about you? What are your best tips for making and maintaining mom friends?
About the Author
Hi! I'm Inez, the owner and content creator of For the Love of Mom, a website dedicated to helping moms thrive in motherhood by offering helpful advice, tips and resources.