Talk about mom friends in any Facebook mom group and you'll likely get a slew of moms talking about how hard it is to make new friends and nurture existing friendships when you become a mom. For me, making new friends has always been a challenge but once I make them, I will invest all kinds of time in them. Well, at least, I used to when I had time. Being a mom really has added a challenge in friendship for me because I just don't have the time to hang out with my friends like I used to. However, I have learned that there are three types of friends that I need in my life as I journey through motherhood.
The right there with you friend.
Ok, so maybe “friend” is a loose term for this one. This friend may not give you more than an “I’m right there with you, sister” nod at a one-year-old's birthday party (as you shove a cupcake down your throat while chasing your independent toddler) or a reply text three weeks later (that’s ok because yours was a reply to her text sent 4 weeks earlier) but you need her. You need to see that someone knows exactly how you feel.
As I mentioned, the majority of my friends are not in the same stage as I am, so when I am around women who are where I am right now. I eat it up (like that cupcake you swallowed whole). There is something incredibly comforting about a friend who gets where you’re at, not because she’s been there but because she is there. We need this friend.
She makes us feel a whole lot less alone.
The Little Bit Ahead of You Friend.
This is the friend who gives you hand-me-downs, doctor referrals, a heads up on the teacher’s to request, the lowdown on college applications & scholarships, etc. She’s not quite where you are but she was just there and she is oh so helpful. She’s not so far removed from your season that she really can’t remember but she’s also not in the thick of it, so she can really give you some great perspective and insight. She empathizes with the challenges you are facing and she remembers vividly the triumphs.
This friend might be one of your biggest resources and cheerleaders.
The been there, done that, (And Totally Missing it) friend.
I have a particular friend that comes to mind on this one and I wish I could hug her right now. Twice. This is the friend that reminds you to enjoy your current season. She tells you to soak it all in and live in every moment because it will soon be gone. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, she can’t help but point out all of the wonderful things about where you’re at as a mom - a place she wishes with all of her heart that she could go back to, even if just for a brief visit. She not only celebrates with you but she simply celebrates you because she has a deep appreciation for motherhood. This is the friend that will keep you grateful.
What type of friends have you found valuable as a mom?
About the Author
Inez is the owner and content creator of For the Love of Mom, a website dedicated to helping moms thrive in motherhood by offering helpful advice, tips and resources.